victormakesart | (no subject)

Babysitting. This boy cut his finger open playing with something that I told him soooooo many times to leave alone. I had to convince him that he wasn't going to bleed to death. The girl broke the door. They took out swords. Told dirty jokes. Cursed a lot. Tried to talk about sex.

The ten most interesting phrases that I used in the course of the evening:

1. Mien Gott

2. Get off your brother and stop making inappropriate noises.
To which she responded: But I'm adopted!

3. What's my brother doing in a box?

4. Get out of the box and away from the stairs.

5. Don't get into slap fights unless you're a five year old girl.
...that was not an invitation to act like a five year old girl.

6. Don't scare the bejeezus out of him. It's hard to clean up.

7. I swear, I'll hug you if you don't quit it right now.

8. Put down the chainsaw. Now.

9. Ah! I swear to God I thought you were Batman.

10. A screwdriver isn't going to do anything.