(no subject)

[victormakesart]

I'm being sort of moodswingy, so ye be warned. I'm rather depressed, and I've been crying a lot. I've also become extra-creative to compensate. In other words, I'm a mess. An honest-to-God mess. But yeah. So if I randomly start crying...don't worry about it.

It's just happening. I can't stop it any more than I can stop being afraid of stupid phobias. They're getting worse, but I think it's just because I'm sad. I don't want to have to leave my room, because I'm terrified that I'll run into a dead something-or-other. I do, of course, leave my room anyway. But I walk the long way so I can be sure to avoid the spot where the bird was yesterday. Even though Nicole swears it isn't there anymore.

I don't think people understand how scared I am of some things. I'm not a joke! I get so scared sometimes, it makes me feel ill. It stops my thought.

I finished my first paper for "the human situation". It has to do with kleos and honor in The Iliad. I really like Achilles's shield. Homer went into four pages of visual description in the name of art. Score one for artists!

I keep thinking that I see Keenan, around campus, but that isn't possible.

I won an argument! I readily admit that my opinion is slightly skewed. But it doesn't mean I'm not right.

I'm going to see a famous poet next week. This is my pilgrimage. This is my enlightenment, my spiritual redemption. Oh my goodness I can't wait!

Comments

[victormakesart.livejournal.com]

It certainly was.

"I don't like it. I've been cryin' everyday. An' I hafta fight down th' impulse t' hide in my room."

[vicioussweetie.livejournal.com]

"Nobody likes it, but we all get sad sometimes."

[victormakesart.livejournal.com]

"Yeah. 'S no fun."

[vicioussweetie.livejournal.com]

"Has anything happened to make you sad, sweetie? Has someone upset you?"

[victormakesart.livejournal.com]

"No more 'n normal. I mean...I 'ready knew Scary Guy was havin' a baby. 'S a girl. He'd be a good dad, I think. Th' bird scared me. I've been worried, 'cause I have lotsa homework every night. Found a few new bruises an' cuts. I dunno."

[vicioussweetie.livejournal.com]

She strokes Victor's hair lightly, listening to everything. "Sounds like a lot of different things all at once. That can be rough on a person. Harder than one big thing, I think, because it seems like no matter how much you fix there's always a pile more, huh?"

[victormakesart.livejournal.com]

She nodded, and she smiled wryly when the tears that she hoped wouldn't show up didn't show up. It was like inviting a poorly behaved uncle to a wedding. Everyone's sort of relieved when they have other arrangements. "Yeah. 'Ve been writin' lists t' help with that. Tryin' t' manage my time. Keep from panickin'."

[vicioussweetie.livejournal.com]

"That's a good plan. And if you need a break from it, you can come spend a night with us. We'll feed you and make sure you have fun."

[victormakesart.livejournal.com]

"Thank you very much."